“Think of the weirdest off the cuff thing someone’s ever said to you— write a situation in which it would fit in”
**For context when getting my senior photos in high school the man taking them tried to entice me by saying I looked like Mama Cass. I then saw we had the same birthday and got convinced I was her reincarnated.”
SCENE
(The setting is a wax museum. A 50 something plus size woman CATHERINE and her friend JOEY are making their way through.)
JOEY
This place is so bizarre. Who even came up with this concept?
CATHERINE
Probably someone in olden days when they didn’t have photos so this would be like the way they would see celebrities before Cameo I guess.
(They approach a waxwork. It can be of whomever you want.)
I mean, look at the craftsmanship. This level of detail IN WAX. We don’t have artistry like this anymore.
(JOEY looks at the sign)
JOEY
The sign says this was mass marketed in China last April.
CATHERINE
Well still it’s the point of the thing!
JOEY
If they just put a wick on one of these things I could do my one man version of Yentyl that killed at the bars last year.
CATHERINE
The only thing it killed was every bottle of hard liquor that bar had.
JOEY
I am making the most out of this oppressive capitalistic system by helping out the bar owners. Oh look the women of the 1960s.
(They pass by these waxworks)
Here’s Diana Ross, here’s Janis Joplin, here’s Mary Travers. Oh my God.
CATHERINE
What?!
JOEY
That one looks exactly like you.
CATHERINE
Which one? Mama Cass? I don’t even know who that is.
JOEY
The trail blazing singer from the Mamas and the Papas? The singer who made “Dream a Little Dream of Me” famous?
CATHERINE
Isn’t she also the one that whole urban legend that she choked to death on a ham sandwich is about?
JOEY
That is the very one.
CATHERINE
Joey?! I don’t want to look like Mama Cass, how can you say I look like Mama Cass?
(She takes a good look at the waxwork)
Oh my God, why do I look like Mama Cass’ twin?!
JOEY
It’s utterly bizarre isn’t it?
CATHERINE
I need to know more about this woman.
JOEY
Let me go to her Wikipedia page. She was born Sept 19, 1941 and died July 29, 1974.
CATHERINE
Oh my God. I was born September 19, 1974. What does that mean?
JOEY
Well…I guess welcome back Mama Cass!
CATHERINE
Am I the reincarnated soul of Cass Elliot? You see these Buzzfeed articles of people who come upon their double in art museums but it never really goes into how they process this? Is there a support group or something?
JOEY
Do you even like folk music?
CATHERINE
No! My Spotify Wrapped ever year is just like boy bands from the 90s on loop.
JOEY
Well that seems like that’s going to have to change with this revelation.
CATHERINE
Nothing has to change, it’s just a weird thing. A fun fact to throw out during icebreakers at company all hands. I’m not going to like go on some “Eat, Pray, Love” tour of Cass Elliot’s acquaintances.
JOEY
I mean it would be a good excuse for a girls trip wouldn’t it? You always say we don’t do enough girls’ trips.
CATHERINE
I am always saying that…ok first I’m going to see if there’s a link in our families, maybe we’re just like distant cousins or something.
JOEY
…then road trip.
CATHERINE
Fine…then road trip.
TO BE CONTINUED
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A cross between Iris Apfel, Miriam Margoles, Lucille Ball. But I am a devoted maximalist through and through. Although, as another inspiration once said
Style—all who have it share one thing: originality.
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